Conde Nast Cuts Newspaper Subscriptions in DRASTIC Move! just reported that Conde Nasters lost another privilege — free newspaper delivery.  OH NO!  What could possibly be next?    I’m sorry, I can’t help myself.  Is this what Conde hired McKinsey for?  …In case you are wondering how staffers found out about this travesty, here’s the apparent memo that went out (according to AdAge).

From: Orlin, David

Sent: Thursday, July 30, 2009 5:16 PM

To: Conde Nast Publications – Employees Only
Subject: Updated Expense Guidelines

In today’s economic environment, managing expenses is a shared responsibility. With that in mind, we ask for your cooperation with the following changes to expense practices. Effective Monday, August 3rd, we are discontinuing:

– Newspaper Subscriptions. Deliveries will end as soon as practicable; in some instances, this may be as early as August 3rd.  Costs for all newspapers – whether subscriptions or single copy purchases – will no longer be reimbursed by the Company.

-Direct-bill Accounts at Hudson News (New York City only). All accounts will be closed on August 3rd.

-In the event that a specific periodical is required for business purposes and is not available online or in the Condé Nast Library on the 4th floor at 4 Times Square, it may be purchased with a Corporate Card and expensed through the Company’s T & E process.  For a list of the Library’s holdings, log into Connect and select “Library” under “Departments.”

Your support is very much appreciated. (that would be me) got curious. If this is an “updated expenses guideline” memo, what other expense guidelines were put forth to staff.  So through some stealth reporting on my end, I got my hands on the following:

To: Conde Nast Publications – Employees Only (duh!)
Subject: New Corporate Expense Guidelines

Due to the fact that we are hemorrhaging out of all orifices, we are asking all of you to make some economic sacrifices.  We already recognized that launching Portfolio was a ginormous mistake and immediately shut it down.  (Really, what the f— were we thinking, opening up a business magazine?)  Ah, but I digress.  Since we have closed Portfolio, we are canceling everyone’s subscriptions to Businessweek, Forbes and Fortune where we stole story ideas because we really don’t know shit about business (unless it’s the fashion kind, of course).

We can’t lay off any additional staff because we already got rid of the ugliest people to date.

So, from now on, we are going to have to cut back on your spending accounts.  You cannot take a towncar to Grand Central  or Penn Station anymore. You’ll just have to do it like the regular folks do — take a taxi.

Nobu is only allowed once a month.

Please limit your alcohol intake at lunch to one glass per session and for dinner to just three.

Thank you, everyone, for your cooperation and understanding in these difficult times.

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